Kinder Start - Not So Smart?

So there I was, wishing there was some way for me to type into the internet, and have other people know what I was thinking from viewing the text...

I was reading about the Kinder Start law thingy and thought I'd seen through a thinly vailed plot to gain back links from the publicity. As it turns out they only have pr2 so they are not doing it right at all!

We hope Kinder start find a lesson from this, just as your baby can too, with the, LeapFrog Hug and Learn Animal Globe. To the Gods of Google we salute you with a Laugh and Learn Pots and Pans set.

Honouring The Pidgeon Worshippers

I would take some time to remind everyone why the Google Gods are indeed the Masters of the universe. They not only control man but also beast. If it were not for PidgeonRank™
technology, the search wars may have had a different winner.

After the pigeon technology became outdated Google chefs from the many inhouse resteraunts were keen to upgrade the birds into something tasty. In the end Iron Chef Mountain View chose to make Salad Of Pigeon With Hazelnut Vinaigrette.

Let us all remember these brave birds and the contribution they made to search.

News From The Web Spam Team

In a competitive search world there is bound to be some exploits that Google uses to lever it's position. In a recent employee post, the true role of Google's web spam team was unveiled. Unofficial spokesperson T-Mac Tutts finally spoke the truth on his popular wine, cheese and spam blog.

"In an effort to reduce the spam problem, we have enlisted the aid of some spammer expertise. In a secret acquisition Google recently purchased Nigeria and now we know all the inside tricks!

Redirecting all the web spam to our competitors has enabled us to spend more time working on the special holiday themed Google logos that are at the heart of our user experience."

Google Patents Bio Networking

In a move set to revolutionize the search world, Google has patented bio networking technologies popularised in the Matrix movie. Adsense publishers will soon be able to plug directly into the Google backbone through a USB dongle that will WiFi directly through to the users central nervous system. The wireless interface was chosen after rigorous testing in the Google Labs.

"We thought the idea of using a direct user input socket was a bit cumbersome. During our alpha testing we soon realised that the high bandwidth possible through a surgically implanted socket was not worth the downtime it caused our adsense publishers."

Publishers have been quick to embrace the technology with a slew of applications for the beta program. Some successful testers have risked their place in the program to speak of their experiences.

"It really is something from web 3.0 as far as I am concerned. No longer do I have to look for things to type about. Search queries are directly cross referenced with my memories. Google serves up the relevant ads and everyone is happy. The only problem so far was when they sent part of my brain to supplemental results and I lost my car keys."

SEO Hat Stand

The algorithms have spoken and a white hat is the correct cranial attire for Google worship. (propeller optional) Choosing the correct hat has never been so pious in this era of the interweb. Ethical search engine optimisation is all the rage from eBay to The Pirate Bay.

Of course not everyone is wearing the official Google hat yet. Everyone has seen the latest grey and black hats available, but what about these popular colours.

Rose Hat - Web page owners who believe that Google worshipping in previous lives should be enough to keep SERP rank.

Green Hat - When it is all about the money. Google is ok with other God worshipping, but wear your green hat under your white one.

Blue Hat - This seems to be black hat SEO that the Google Gods can not yet smite. Is blue the new black?